Ultimate Boyfriend of 4D
by Newgirl78
Summary: One month after Cece's wedding, Schmidt has decided to stay with Elizabeth, while Nick and Jess have enjoyed their slowly developing relationship. During a loft argument, an overconfident Schmidt and a enraged Nick try to convince each other that they make a better boyfriend. They agree to a friendly competition in order to determine who is the "Ultimate Boyfriend of 4D".


One month after Cece's wedding, Schmidt has decided to stay with Elizabeth, while Nick and Jess have enjoyed their slowly developing relationship. During a loft argument, an overconfident Schmidt and a enraged Nick try to convince each other that they make a better boyfriend. They agree to a friendly competition in order to determine who is the "Ultimate Boyfriend of 4D". The outcome of the game spells disaster for one fragile relationship, while the other moves forward in a very surprising way.

* * *

Nick sat down with his cereal at the corner of the kitchen island closest to the stove, a steaming cup of tea directly in front of him. Schmidt was mixing a strange concoction at the opposite end, near his room.

"All I'm saying Nick, is that Elizabeth would appreciate my guidance if I showed her this fantastically healthy and weight conscious breakfast."

Nick grimaced. "Really Schmidt? You're telling me that mentioning the words 'weight conscious' to your girlfriend wouldn't start an unnecessary fight?"

"Please. I think after dating for OVER FOUR YEARS, I know what I can say." He scoffed.

Winston walked in and grabbed a banana off the counter, sitting down across from Nick. "What are we talking about?"

Nick pointed his spoon at Schmidt. "This idiot thinks that Elizabeth would be perfectly fine if he told her how to make her breakfast more healthy."

Winston shook his head. "Damn, how do even get women to TALK to you, let alone allow you to TOUCH them?"

Just then, Jess walked into the kitchen from the hallway wearing a bright blue and yellow sundress. "What's this about touching woman Winston?" She walked over to Nick, putting her hand on his shoulder and bending over to place a quick kiss on his cheek. She sat down at the end of the island, grabbing her mug of tea in her hands. She took a small sip and leaned her shoulder toward Nick, whispering "thanks". Nick just flashed her a smile and went back to his cereal.

Schmidt grimaced watching Jess, and then spoke. "Answer me this, Jessica Day. Wouldn't you appreciate it if Nick was concerned for your well being?"

Jess glanced at Nick and he just rolled his eyes. "Please tell me you didn't suggest to Elizabeth that she should lose a few pounds again."

Schmidt feigned offense. "I'm insulted." He pointed to his breakfast. "I merely gave her pointers on a more appealing meal option. I think MOST woman" he glared at Jess, "would appreciate that."

Jess reached out and grabbed Nick's left hand on the table and gave it a squeeze. "Well, I appreciate when Nick makes my tea every morning." Schmidt made a face at them as Nick gave Jess a small wink. "THAT is sweet."

"Please."

"No Schmidt, it means he knows what I like and it shows me that he cares."

"Blah, blah." Schmidt made mouth motions with his hands. "Of course I know what she LIKES. Have we not established that I clearly know her better than you two EVER could?"

Jess jumped up from her stool and Nick just shook his head. "Oh, is that right? So dating someone you knew in COLLEGE like 10 years ago, means you automatically know them better?"

Schmidt smiled smugly. "You got it."

Nick laughed. "Schmidt, if it came down to a competition between us and the two of you, you wouldn't stand a chance."

Schmidt rolled his eyes. "Please, Nick. Again I say, FOUR YEARS." He over emphasized the last two words. "You really think you two could win?"

Nick was visibly irritated by now. "Yeah. Yeah, I think we could."

Jess punched the air. "We could TOTALLY win. You may have been together a long time, but it was also a LONG TIME ago. We," she pointed between her and Nick. "have no secrets. We know each other NOW. Right Nick?" She looked at Nick and he nodded.

"Fine." Schmidt slammed his hand on the counter. "FINE. You're on! Tonight we battle, Nicholas Miller. Tonight we prove once and for all who is the ultimate boyfriend of 4D."

"FINE." Nick screamed, then made a face. "What do we win?"

Jess threw her hand in the air and pointed to Schmidt and Nick. "The winner gets this apartment to themselves for an ENTIRE WEEKEND." She made a shotgun with her fingers and pointed it as Nick, while Nick just winked.

Winston just rolled his eyes. "Ok, I WANT to stay out of this, but...what do I win when all this goes down? I don't want to be with ANY of you for that weekend."

Jess pointed at Winston. "AND, loser buys Winston and Daisy a hotel room for said weekend!"

Winston nodded. "I'M IN! WOOHOO! Hotel sex baby!"

Jess raised her eyebrows towards Schmidt. "You still in Schmidt?"

"You better believe it. I will OWN this title if it kills me!" He flipped his linked fingers over and pushed his hands out in front of him, rolling his head from side to side. "Let's DO THIS!"

Nick held up his hand to Jess, who gave him a high five. "You're ON!"


End file.
